Lauv Story Episode V

Read earlier episodes for context, even I had to read them to have a semblance of connectivity while writing this.

So here I was, waiting for the most important tweet of my life (for which I had been branded a twat by people aplenty). By the time I abandoned my pride, and somehow got her home number (from a very stubborn, possibly homosexual friend), she must have left for the airport. And in the subsequent moments of desperation, I did what I do best- make a fool of myself (in front of a large audience), and I tweeted, hoping she would read it at the airport, or in the flight, or even at the stop in Paris. And she would abandon all of it, and come back. I refreshed her twitter page a million times, but there was no update. She was gone, and gone for good.

Lauv Story Episode IV

These last few days of my life I had locked myself up in my filthy garbage yard of a room, sleeping amidst clothes which had lost all hopes of being washed, spiders breathing down my face having knitted their web so industriously down the ceiling and a kettle that hadn't been washed in a fortnight but used almost daily for my staple diet of Maggi, masala, aata and tomato curry. Despite all my efforts, I eventually had to abandon this lifestyle in favour of some marks in the coming tests and show my crappy warewolvish hair and beard to the rest of the college.

There were three category of responses I got from the aam junta (who, in the ideal world, would have given no thoughts to my fiasco, would have not gossiped about it with their friends, even from other colleges and so on)-

Lauv Story Episode III

Ok yes, it was a setback. A big one, I admit. I mean what was the point of putting so much effort into a cause which was fruitless from the onset. I did however find her orkut profile, after much effort, and looked at all prospective boyfriends of hers and criticized each one of them. It was fun till my pesky neighbours/friends started banging my door for dinner and I swiftly closed the numerous tabs and removed the pages from the history as well (my friends really did not respect the privacy of computers). For the better part of next month, I preferred to spend more time with these pesky friends than with Anchal, in fact, every time I looked at her I visualized a wedding ring on her finger (I didn't know which finger is the ring worn on, so I imagined one on each finger) and the lechery I was committing in still pursuing her.

"The way you stare at me these days creeps me out, tell me you aren't fantasizing anything about me."

Lauv Story Episode II

The delusions of going to a place where people play with cutting-edge technology and innovate for fun were swiftly cleared, as I spent the better part of my first week sleeping away the boredom garnered at all the tuts and lectures. The only piece of interesting technology I encountered in the classes was the chalk holder, which lets instructors use even the last bit of chalk to copy out derivations mentioned in the text. So why was I still attending the classes?

Week two, day one - my good-hearted, sincere bespectacled neighbour woke me up at 7.30 because he knew that I had a class at 8 (no, I didn't), which I shouldn't be missing because the teacher was very strict.

Nondescript

Nondescript
Originally uploaded by sourcemorph

Taken at Panjim on 16.08.2009

Lauv Story Episode I

I was waiting for the most important tweet of my life. It was part risky and part stupid, nobody I knew had even proposed a girl publicly even on facebook, much less twitter. And before I knew, it was one of the most talked about topic, with people who never knew me not shying away from giving their two cents on #loserproposesontwitter, it wasn't too bad though because as the afternoon came there were a few losers who started supporting me on #guyproposesontwitter.

So how did it all start? One year back.. I came to this college to have four fun filled years. I hardly had a school life after 8th, as I was shipped to Kota to fulfill my father's life long ambition of joining IIT. So he sent me to this crapland for four years and I fulfill his dream, bah.. I walked out of the IIT examination precisely 4 minutes after, having scribbled down my name, application number and other details in neat handwriting. But I had to go to college, and so I wrote BITSAT, got into the Goa campus (although Pilani was open for me, but the idea of spending another four years of my life in the middle of nowhere didn't entice me much).

And so on the moisture laden steps leading the main building of BITS Pilani, Goa Campus, amidst the several centipedes (that seemed to have rained on us), I talk to Anchal. 5'4"-5", darker than wheatish, but sharp features, and omg eyes.. resplendent blue on the clearest white, and yes she had red streaks in her hair (the rebel kind eh?).

Religion v/s Homosexuality

The decriminalization of IPC 377 (as per the Constitution of India) has met with varying reaction from different quarters of the society. Quite evidently, the most staunch criticism has come from the religious leaders, and while watching this debate "Religion v/s Homosexuality" on IBN, I witnessed a rare occasion where all religious leaders unanimously agreed on something.

However, this has lead me to think just why is religion so against the concept of homosexuality, why are all religions homophobic?

Poetic Pervasive Perversion

the straight things- people don't remember
the morals and ideals that rot with you
it is the anomalies you discover
the pervert ideas that you brought with you
it is the pervasive perversion inside of you
for which the mankind will be proud of you
save me always from the conversion
my dear poetic pervasive perversion (1)

and if there was perhaps no perversion around you
and everyone took all the sacred rules seriously
the fear that one day saint peter will hound you
they would have followed the commandments dutifully
then we would have been living under the sun in the day
and by the candle in the night, learning to pray
save me always from the conversion
my dear poetic pervasive perversion (2)

Mission: Driving License

So this was my first peek into the lives of our sarkari offices- the R.T.O (supposed to be the Regional Transport Office) to be precise. I turned 18 recently (read the postscript), so my papa finally realized that he could get me a driving license. It’s not like you have to wait till you get 18 to get yourself a driving license at least in this part of India, but then I guess I've inherited the laidback attitude from my father.

Okay coming back to the R.T.O rendezvous, I was escorted by one Yadav dude (albeit a fifty year old dude!), who is probably in this business for quite sometime but still seems nervous like an amateur.

Would you like to be born on Earth again??

The other day a thought came to my mind when i was playing with my one year old niece. I was asked to get an appointment with the doctor as per her vaccination schedule. A peek in her vaccination chart showed me some three dozen entries.Most of the diseases that this vaccines were preventing weren't even present when I was a kid. Well nothing wrong in developing new vaccines, but does this not imply that over the years we are also producing so many new diseases that can affect our kids.When our parents were kids there were hardly any vaccination drives, when our time came there were some of them and now the new generation faces a book full of diseases..!!

An Evening of Horrors

"Mama would be angry..." I sure was scared that day, it was already eight-thirty when I took the bus. and I was alone that day. My tution sir lived about a thirty-minute bus ride away and so my parents, always too cautious, sent me there only because one of the kids from my apartment went there too. but that day he had a headache, most probably caused by the thought of missing sachin's batting in the india-england match. so his parents let him a day off from the tution.

However too many things that shouldn't have happened, happened all together. After the class I went to the place of another friend of mine to see his new videogame. the videogame was pretty much addictive, and two hours , or more aptly sixteen levels of that game, passed very swiftly. "time to go back..." first I called up my mum and told her that I went to a friend's place and that I would be back soon.

Voila... Even Miss Maya reads my blog!

And I thought nobody took my blog seriously... Only to be read in the papers last week that UP CM ordered the closure of all Reliance Fresh outlets in Lucknow, following agitation by traders' association, and subsequent inquiry into the functioning of the working on retail chains. If you haven't been a regular reader then this please read the first post on this blog: "Prologue" [ http://dump-mart.blogspot.com/2007/05/prologue.html ]

Now tell me, don't you think my blog did bring about an effect!! Lol... okay fine, that was just a break from the usual cribbing...

Tax on students working abroad...

A parliamentary committee has put forth a recommendation for taxing students from central government institutes like IITs & IIMs who opt to work abroad. What say? I say a great idea...I'd say this resentment of mine (against using nation's resources to produce engineers for developed countries) isn't totally self-cultivated, maybe it is a result of reading some high-voltage articles on brain drain, Swades and even Five Point Someone. As you might know the basic aim for forming the IITs, according to Mr. Nehru, was to produce the most brilliant engineers who'd help develop a newly independent India and let it compete with the developed nations on the technological front.

The IITs sure have produced the most brilliant engineers, but have they really fulfilled their purpose? These brilliant engineers have invented things, innovated existing technology... but where? Almost all have done these things not in India, but in various American and European companies. Can you recall any major invention done by an IITian that has helped the rural populations, or solved the problem of a common man... Barring a few solar power generators and the likes, have they even developed a simple technology that can be used substantially. Atleast I cannot, and I would love to read about them in the comments section if you do know about them.

State Transport Buses- modern day satis?!

Agitating students here in Lucknow burn state transport buses to condemn the discrepancy in the evaluation of CPMT papers!

Revolting Sikhs in Punjab and Delhi burn state transport buses to vent their anger against Baba Ram Rahim.

Angry gujjars in Rajasthan light state transport buses to voice their demand for ST status.

Fans of Kannada actor Rajkumar burn state transport buses in grief over the loss of their superstar...

Philosophical Mood... #1

Hmm well every once in a while the philosopher within us tries to make its presence felt... and at times like these when I get more time than usual for all the vellapanti the philosopher is even more proactive. And specially when you get to spend time with your school friends after a long time you sure feel the longing to go back to your school days...

But then life moves on at its own constant pace, and its only the relative pace that we feel. If we go too fast, we feel that life's too slow and if we go too slow we feel life's too fast! So well its only too sensible to just let life take you for a ride... and in that ride you may just as well capture some really pretty moments...

The Red Shoe

I wrote this story on a different blog some time back.. however since this story is one of the very few that are worth reading- I'll put it here too.... :P!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Red Shoe:::

How do you describe a very lively market? People, hundreds of them, engaged in all sorts of verbal communication- talking, arguing, shrieking, begging, scolding et cetera and commodities, thousands of them, being sold, bought, repaired, returned, exchanged, rented, donated et cetera. Well ‘if’ that’s all that I’m saying about Dandaiya Market then I’m terribly short or words and power of expression. But I guess we’ll have to do with that description written not by me but a friend (who has requested to be anonymous).Situated at a very comfortable location, this market attracts a lot of shoppers. The streets are all cluttered with vehicles and men, both susceptible to the adverse effects of the huge amount of humanity traversing the area. To this market, one has to come out of necessity and not luxury- at least for my mother who wants a special type of flour, comprising wheat, corn … Had it been a story on my mom’s cooking habits I’d have asked her the detailed composition, but this is very serious.

Of sacha saudas and reservations...

I sometimes wonder how easy it is in India to incite people to paralyse the normal functioning of affairs, some religious leader dresses up as Guru Gobind Singh and then people from other side start burning vehicles on the road. The funny thing being that the vehicles don't even belong to that religious leader. So when an obviously irresponsible religious leader does a stupid act and then refuses to apologize for it, it is the duty of all true Sikhs to start burning the state property.

And it is amusing to see that finally the leader did apologize and the controversy ends but why the hell could he not apologize earlier and avoid so much destruction!? Or did it satisfy his ego that buses were burnt for his sake or does it glorify his image in front of his followers that the guru didn't relent easily. And now to keep the news channels busy (not that they always need issues to make headlines) we have yet another issue. This one though a little more serious..

Prologue

Its always fun to be back to your hometown after a while, find somebody there to receive you at the platform and saying these two things in the same order.. "How was the journey, zyada problem to nahi hui?" and quickly comes the second thing.. "What happened to your health? Itne patle kaise ho gaye?" And then you go back to your place, everybody specially your mum scrutinizes you with one long stare and then gives you one hell of a hug..! Truly heart wrentching, isn't it? You almost feel like Shah Rukh Khan when he drops down his chopper and runs towards Jaya Bachchan in K3G...

Anyway so this time when I came back to my place for the summer holidays which are rather long, after these general happenings when I went out to take a stroll in my area- I found so many small shops being replaced by fewer but beautifully designed big retail outlets, most of which are a part of a national chain. Everybody promises to give you the best offer, as if it was a dream of the founder of the company to provide good quality goods to the poor man at the right price. But what are they exactly doing?